Honor and Anger
There is a connection between honor and anger.
Anger is an intense emotion of annoyance and displeasure that leads to hostility and combat. Something happens, you feel displeased, then you react aggressively.
Anger is an aggressive reaction to stress, a response to a threat. When something makes us feel vulnerable, weak, or ashamed, we “get angry” to resolve or cover those problems. We may ask nicely once or twice, but when that doesn’t work, we resort to anger to obtain our preferences. Our eyes focus, our hearts pump, our muscles tense, and our faces signal disapproval. We power up for battle, or at least to project force.
Most church-going Christians avoid extreme, violent expressions of anger. Instead, we develop more sophisticated and socially acceptable forms of anger. These include resentment, bitterness, irritation, and frustration. Don’t be fooled, internal and pre-expressed anger is still anger. Even nice people deal with anger.
Anger is related to worth. We get angry when we feel that something of value has been violated. Every person has a sense of what and who deserves worth. When that sense of worth gets violated, we feel offense and disrespect. Anger is the emotional resource that enables us to protect what needs to be protected. It helps us to repair shame and restore honor.
People feel angry when disrespected. Consider these basic examples: a driver cuts you off, a child defies you, someone damages your property, or a neighbor gossips about you. The thought rises, “They didn’t treat me as I deserve to be treated!” Humans have a gut-level demand for honor. We may ask nicely once or twice, but when that doesn’t work, we resort to anger to regain lost honor. A biblical example is King Saul. When the people of Israel sang praise to David, he was displeased and “very angry” (1 Sam 18:7–9). He felt that, as king, he deserved that honor.
In other instances, we feel angry when another person’s worth is violated, especially when the offended person is close to us. We get angry because we share a sense of honor that has been smeared. We also experience anger when an unknown person experiences an egregious affront. Our blood boils when hearing about sexual abuse or blatant racism, especially against the young or vulnerable.
The Gospels record that Jesus got angry when others were not properly recognized, such as when the synagogue leaders were reluctant to help the man with the withered hand (Mark 3:4), the disciples excluded children from Jesus (Mark 10:14–16), and moneychangers hindered worshippers access to the temple (Mark 11). In each instance, the cause of Jesus’ anger was people not properly honoring and valuing another person.
Should Christians get angry? Is there such a thing as “righteous anger?” I know people have “good reasons,” perhaps even “biblical reasons,” for getting angry. However, anger is a strong visceral reaction that floods my body even before I can reason. Therefore, I’m suspicious that my excuses for expressing anger are after-the-fact justifications more than well-meditated reasons. Basically, I don’t trust myself to be angry. Yes, Yahweh and Jesus got angry, but their anger was entirely and genuinely pure. I have doubts we can be angry without being selfishly concerned about the honor of my own name.
Dallas Willard said there is nothing you can do better with anger than without anger. There’s really not a good reason to be angry. In the words of James, “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (1:20). (Please note, this blogpost only addresses anger from personal offenses. The proper use of the “justice system” to address severe, criminal offenses is a different issue.)
A better response than anger is forgiveness. Rather than forcefully claiming honor, we renounce our claim to honor. Forgiveness is the personal choice to release the offender from their honor debt. They owe you honor (in the form of apology, restitution, punishment, etc.) for violating your worth, but you choose to release them from any repayment. For this to happen, we need to appropriate and experience an alternative source of honor, the one that is available through Christ.
Here is the main idea—if honor and anger are linked, then addressing anger requires new conceptions of honor.
These questions have helped me work through the emotion of anger:
• In what circumstances do I experience anger?
• What worth does my anger seek to preserve?
• How can I appropriate Christ’s alternative honor in those moments?
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Solo mencionar que el rey del ejemplo con David es Saul; por lo demás, buena la reflexión
Thank you. This came just when I needed it. Right on time.
Very good thoughts about anger. In your example from 1 Samuel 18, you mean “King Saul” not “Solomon.” Perhaps you can fix it?
Great and specifically insightful post. Thank you.
Quote: “The desire for recognition is the motor of history.” Francis Fukuyama
Thanks for this poignant and thoughtful reflection on anger and honor. Much to ponder.
By the way, it was King Saul who was angered at the praises ascribed to David in 1 Sam 18. 🙂
Perhaps you could elaborate on how Christ has so honored us that I would relinquish my anger?
I recognise the honour-shame connection with my anger when it relates to people (or even to misbehaving dogs!) – but do you think there something similar going when we get angry about not being able to find our keys? Anger with self (or more irrationally – with the “universe”). Anticipatory shame for probably going to be late?
I appreciate your distinction between Jesus and the Father’s righteous anger and human anger. Often times I hear that used as an excuse for just about any kind of anger that people feel justified in expressing. Our anger is rarely pure and in defense of another person’s honor.
Great post; one of the best I’ve read on the topic.
I think you mean Saul, not Solomon.
Words are squirrel y things, often jumping around on the communication roadway trying to not be precisely nailed down. ὀργή (orge) and ם (za’am) fit this metaphor. I appreciate your pointing out the connection of ‘anger’ with ‘honor’. Something Western (specifically American) culture significantly misses.
I’d like to see you deal with Ephesians 4:25-27. It’s the sentence where “be angry” is in the imperative mood. So, it’s either a command or, at the least, an important request from the Apostle Paul.
Your advice, “anger is a strong visceral reaction that floods my body even before I can reason. Therefore, I’m suspicious that my excuses for expressing anger are after-the-fact justifications more than well-meditated reasons. Basically, I don’t trust myself to be angry” is sound advice. And that rings quite true with the Ephesian text which includes, “and yet do not sin.” I think the Ephesian text presents a crucible that hammers out the truth–two seemingly opposite poles which must be held in tension.
I think we need to strengthen our honor muscles along the lines of Exodus 22:24 in an imitation of God way. The context is about treating well those who are unlike us. God gets angry when we don’t. While we dare not let our emotions lead–we need to be self-controlled–we would be helped if they push us forward in the direction our righteously guided mind chooses.
Perhaps Ephesians 4:26 should be understood as: “With self-control, strongly pursue other’s rightful honor.”
Thanks for posting; It’s an important topic.
When dealing with anger it is wise to seek the wisdom of people from the psychology/counseling field.
I have benefited from the idea of “emotional logic” from Dr Trevor Griffiths. In his concept anger is a normal emotional reaction within us. Anger is just one of seven considered “negative” emotions that Griffiths deals with in emotional logic. He sees a valid purpose within each negative emotion, for anger that is “to get energized to change things”. Rather than resorting to the destructive emotional reaction of anger we can deal with the situation constructively. Forgiveness is part of the answer as the hurt we experience cannot be undone. Though, it does not mean that we have to accept a situation as is. To seek a change or improvement is a valid and often necessary response as well.