Discussion Questions for Honor-Shame

Adults learn best by practicing and engaging with material. So, when I teach honor-shame, I strive to incorporate non-lecture activities at least 30% of the time.

Last week, I led a 10-hour training on honor-shame. Usually, I would use various exercises and videos to supplement my teaching. However, this group spoke multiple languages and included many non-native English speakers. My usual activities would not have worked well through translation. Small-group discussion questions (3-5 people) proved beneficial for people.

Here’s a list of the discussion questions I used. It is important to set up the teaching so that people have some framework with which to answer the questions.

Related to Honor-Shame

• What is something you hope to learn about honor and shame?
• What is shame? Describe the word.
• Read Exodus 3:10-14 and 4:8–13. Why did Moses feel shame? How did he respond?
• In your family, when do people feel shame? How do they respond to shame?
• In your culture, what words and symbols confer honor or shame?
• What OT people are rescued from shame and restored to honor?
• What is the difference between false shame and healthy shame?
• Read 2 Sam 12:1–14. How did David act shamefully in vv. 1–6? How did David’s actions “shame” God in vv. 7–10?
• Read Gen 4:3–12. How did Cain respond to shame? What were the consequences?
• Read 2 Sam 9. Who was Mephibosheth? How does David change Mephibosheth?
• Tell the story of the Bible (creation, sin, Israel, Jesus, restoration) in terms of honor and shame.
• In your relationships, how do mediate honor (or shame) to others?

Related to Patronage

• What are common patronage relationships in your context?
• What images/words evoke patronage expectations in your context?
  Read Luke 7:1–10. Where do you see patronage in this story?
• How do you feel when people ask you for money? Share a story.
• Read Psalm 146. In what ways is God a patron?
• Is it biblical to say, “God is a patron”?
• What was Paul’s financial policy? Did he accept money or not?
• How can you make your patronage relationships more God-centered and life-giving?
• What is the relationship between partnership and patronage?

Related to Relationships/Ethics

• What are natural ways you can communicate God’s honor in your relationships?
• Consider a recent time when you had a relational problem. What role did honor and shame play in the conflict? What could you have done differently to honor the other person?
• In your life and ministry, how can you live and proclaim God’s honor code?
• What is the difference between humility and shame? Pride and honor?
• How do leaders get seduced by worldly honors? How could they be more resilient to such temptations?

There is nothing particularly brilliant about these questions. They just get people talking and sharing their ideas. Feel free to use or enhance these questions.

Previous posts shared “6 Teaching Exercises” and “4 Practical Ways to Use the Culture Test.” Many useful videos are here.